Why I go, and keep going....

Ok, so I apologize for my delay in blogging, especially when after writing my first blog I was literally moved to tears at the messages, comments, and phone calls that I received with others that wanted someone to hear there story. I truly believe that the human connection makes all the difference between feeling like a failure (agaaain) and success. So truly, thank you.

I also took some time to decide WHAT I wished this next post to be about and I decided that I wanted to share three stories with you. Two stories of WHY this change needed to happen and the last as a reason to inspire and KEEP GOING. 
I share these first two stories because although they are embarrassing and I will never be able to forget the wrecked feeling of these moments they speak to the human experience. WEIGHT IS A HUMAN STRUGGLE. Its become this shitty taboo thing and these internal messages just spread within us and make matters worse. So here they go, they are coming out cuz they've got no power over me ANYMORE. boom ;)

Once upon a time, I agreed to do a Tough Mudder... thanks to some pushy friends and my sense of adventure (oooor lack of insight) I was committed to this feat. I can write a whole blog on that experience another day but I'll skip to the punchline and tell you that within the first 3 miles of the race, my pants caught a snag and literally started disappearing before my very eyes... annnnnd crotch. 

It started in the inner thigh, what I will refer to as the 'Chub Rub' section and quickly traveled to both legs. So there I was, running, muddy with my legs and underwear absolutely exposed. Mind you, I dont even go to the beach without some solid bottom coverups. The pain was EXCRUICIATING and there was absolutely nothing I could do. Now I could speculate the reasons that this happened... old workout pants... Tough Mudders are the devs.... My big thighs creating too much friction.. doesn't matter because there I was trying to climb walls and complete and all I could think about was how people were looking at me. No matter what they were thinking, nothing could have been crueler than my thoughts. And there I stood, hating my body. The story ends with my finding a pair of Womens Medium shorts, squeezing into them, and finishing. Heres whats left of the original capris.  

My second story takes place in the spectacular land of Cancun, Mexico. Again my fabulous friends and I were up for some adventure and planned a girls only getaway. On the agenda was an awesome spa day at the resort. Whenever we arrived we were given locker keys and escorted to this magical retreat. 

We quickly grab our big plushy robes and get ready for zen when holy shit mine is like toddler sized and leaves me completely exposed. I attempt to brush it off and just kept my towel underneath and my lovely friends offered to switch me but honestly I was afraid that it would fit them fine. I just kept it on and tried to quiet my thoughts that were spewing at me. Luckily as we were leaving the dressing room an employee offered me a robe that fit me much better. Now again, can I make excuses.. blame the robe.. speculate I'm too tall... blah blah blah yes sure but that doesn't unthink those thoughts. Those thoughts of me being uncomfortable in my body. That is when I knew that a change needed to happen. My life needed to be more focused on loving my body. 

On this trip, I was the heaviest I'd ever been. I only wished I had realized this and started SOONER because since starting this journey (JULY 2014) I have had experiences that have brought me HAPPY TEARS and better yet, HAPPY THOUGHTS.

I want to leave you with one of those moments, small victories and what some people call NSV - Non Scale Victories because these are THE BEST my friends. 

So I was at Macy's looking for some new jeans and found a cute pair of colored jeans in the Women's (Plus) section. They were a size 16 and 'curvy fit' and more importantly at the moment on clearance for $12. So I take my stack of clothes that I was just ehh about to the dressing room and save these bad boys for last just knooowing that they would make me feel what my thoughts have been telling me for years. You can see where this story is going, I slip them on and holy cow they slide up my leg, up over my butt and ?!?!?!?! BUTTON no crazy squats or lunges or contortion moves?!?! Ok that alone that made me stare at the reflection in the mirror way longer than necessary but I was Oh Em Gee thrilled. Now heres the best part, I leave the fitting room and stop the attendant and inquire if there are any more of these jeans because they fit so well. She looks at the tag and asks me where I found them, I tell her and she kind of smiles and says 'Oh dear, you wont find them over there, these are a misses brand and size". Yep, that was the moment everyone... that gentle nod from the Plus section to the Womens was the affirmation that I am doing something. Doing something that matters, and makes me feel good about myself. I'm so blessed that I am able to share these moments with my friends that support this journey!!!    If I can do it, so can you!  Heres my sweet pants FYI. Feel free to follow, post, and share. Thanks all, Happy Holidays! 

 

First Post! What is 70 Before 30??

Welcome! Thanks for stopping by my blog.. Let me give you a quick glimpse into my life and what this blog is all about. 
A little about me, I am 29 ON A MISSION to get healthy! I have worked really really reaaaaaaaahlllly hard on my career in the mental health field helping others and along the way lost myself and my health.
My history: I've always been a big kid and have heard it all - "Big boned" "Baby Fat" "Pudge" "Amazon" "Such a pretty face"... the list goes on. I can't remember a time that I wasn't comparing my size to others around me and noticing obvious differences. Despite being a super sensitive kid, I eventually grew a thick skin to these unsolicited comments and attempted to be comfortable in my own skin.  My first kick in the teeth regarding my weight came from my morbidly obese creepy physician. During my 6th grade physical, he handed me a note and told me to show it to my Mom. Being a nosey, parentified 12 year old I snuck a peak at the folded paper that informed me i was 5ft6in, 196lb and considered obese. I was devasted. It was bad enough that I was a head taller than everyone in my class and mistaken for substitute teachers, but now I was LABELED, and truly believed there was something wrong with me. I maintained my weight up into high school and was a varsity athlete and star pupil. Still hated my body ... heres me my senior year

  Next came college, terrible eating habits and unlimited cafe visits. Luckily we pretty much walked everywhere so my weight didn't go too crazy. I was in the 230s and still learning to appreciate my body. Then my health crashed in my sophomore year, I was exhausted constantly, couldn't keep any food down, and my body was retaining water so severally that I couldn't fit my feet in my shoes nor my rings on my fingers. Mom dragged me home to go to our family physician who told me that I was overweight (yes thank you) and accused me of drinking and drug use. Neither were the case and my Mom insisted on a blood test. My thyroid was grossly underproducing and my levels were quite low. The doctor called and apologized for her behavior but it didn't really matter the damage was done. My weight maintained through college, I joined a popular sorority and graduated with two Bachelors degrees. 

I actually liked my body at this time but soon started working in the field, second shift, eating terrible food and on a tiny tiny paycheck. Two years after graduating college, I was accepted into graduate school. I was working full-time at a hospital and started masters-level classes. Long story short, I worked just about every hour of the day, pulled all nighters, and stressed to the max. My health reflected this lifestyle and my weight just kept going up and up and up. 

 

Yes I was proud, Yes I was thrilled my 4 years of grad school was over but YIKES did it take its toll. My health and weight paid its price. I wasn't quite ready to see it and figured that I would bounce back. I didn't.  I accepted a job with extensive travel and exhaustive hours and just kept on not caring about my body. I let so much go in that time frame and it took until a beach trip with my closest girl friends and the pictures captured that made me stop and take a good, hard, and ugly look. 

 

I am not proud of these pictures, quite the opposite but thats why I'm doing what I'm doing. 

There you have it!

This is my 70 Before 30!!!!!!!!

Right now I am in midst my journey to lose 70 more pounds and get down to my high school weight! So far I have lost 22lbs and countless inches on my quest. Currently I am using cardio, Piyo, 21 Day fix and Shakeology to help me along the way. Here are my Piyo pics from 7/1-9/1 

Ok so thats it! Thats what this is all about! I need support and motivation to shred these unwanted pounds and make 30 my most successful year yet .. with a better bathing suit! 

Please comment and ask any questions below! Thank you for reading <3 K

www.beachbodycoach.com/KRISTEN2415